Mental health

I am a huge advocate for mental health and talking about your feelings. Part of the reason I created Dadscomm and the whatsapp chat was to connect dads around the world to have a safe place to chat and open up about their feelings and not be judged. Good place to make new friends, there’s been a few people come and go, couple of dickheads with agendas  not a kin to the spirit of the group but thankfully they left. This is a story for another time so we’ll leave it at that.

Anyway back to mental health, I want people (especially men) to open up. Do I always take my own advice? I do not. I find it easier to give other people support and advice rather than take it myself.

I know I’ve not had a hugely difficult life, parents split up when I was a teenager. This effected me more than I realised at the time but again, a story for another time. I think some of my issues started with my first “proper” girlfriend when I was 19. She was controlling, mentally abusive and physically abusive. She threatened to kill herself if I left her, slashed her wrists in front of me one time and slashed my neck and wrist. I still didn’t leave her, I thought it’d get better. It didn’t help that I cheated on her a few times. But I guess I needed some actual affection.

Thankfully I made the right decision, eventually to split with her. She then moved on to one of my mates, who was a really good friend at the time. Obviously that friendship didn’t last, they had a baby and were relatively happy. Until karma reared it’s head. She did the same to him but this time attacked him with a heel on his head, he showed me the scars years later. Is that karma or was it expected??

This is going to be too long to go into everything I’ve been through in relationships. Like most people it’s not been an easy ride. You have highs and big time lows. Could I have treated the girlfriends better? Yeah probably, not much I can do about that now though.

I have been married for over 3 years now and that’s been brilliant but it comes with it’s tough times too. It was difficult when Rowan was born as he didn’t sleep and that sent me round the bend, I vaguely remember not being able to sleep one night and sleep walking and smashing my head against the door frame multiple times as I couldn’t take it any more. Thankfully Izzy stopped me before I did any lasting damage. Maybe I should see someone? I’m not sure. The cost is a psychiatrist puts me off. And I don’t like going to the Doctors.

Has anyone been through similar? I’d love to talk more about it if possible.Mental health


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