Bad Christmas’s

I swear I am a positive person. As I’ve said before, this time of year can really get me down. Two years ago we lost my Nanna on New Year’s Day and she was in hospital for a few weeks before she left us. That has taken its toll on me as I loved my Nanna. She was always so kind. Last year I was totally fucked up by flu, like actual flu, not "man flu" ACTUAL flu, like in bed for two weeks on antibiotics flu.  I couldn't be with my children, my wife was upset as I couldn't take part and I was mad with myself for being so ill.

I am a positive person and try to see the best in all situations. However, I do have a realistic view of the world and am not naive, people will let you down, not everything is going to go your way and fucking shit happens man.

There’s an expectation that this time of year is going to be perfect and you’re going to have a great time but the reality of this is very different. I dunno man, maybe I’m just not in a great place right now. Maybe once the holidays are over I’ll be back to my normal self.  I hope so because I hate being negative and hope I’m not dragging you down with my words. I just need to get them off my chest.

I want my kids to have fun and have a fulfilling Christmas. I need to be present, play with them more and be kinder to my wife. In fact, that’s what I’m going to do.

As always any feedback is appreciated. I’d also welcome any support you’d like to give or whatever. You don’t have to I know you've got your own shit going on.

Anyway much love, I hope you’re good today when you’re reading this. If you need to chat just let me know.


  1. Christmas time has become so commercial and daunting! We as a society need to bring Christmas back to where it should be! Family time is the most important part of Christmas. It’s not about presents as much as it is about being present!
    I struggle to feel festive due to the pressure of society and the ‘norm’. If we don’t change our children’s idea of Christmas now then we are setting them up to feel the same way we do now! Love that you have shared your feelings. Your a great example to many.

    1. thank you, funnily enough my sons Christmas play was about thinking of others this christmas, understanding that not everyone is going to have a good time and some people have had a very very difficult year. Thank you for you comment x


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